Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm really busy with my period
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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