I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
