I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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