No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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