he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
