When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
