dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
