Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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