How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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