I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
