How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
