Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
