Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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