So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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