I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
