i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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