Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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