who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
