i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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