have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
