just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
