I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize