just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
