and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
