Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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