White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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