guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
