You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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