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i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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