Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
