maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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