Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
