so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
