your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
