dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
