Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
