people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
