Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Can I color on your dick again?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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