i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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