the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
