During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize