dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
