All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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