He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize