even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
