I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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