it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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