i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
