I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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