Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
