so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
