somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize