The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
