My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize