So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
