You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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