put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
