If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
All the doctor said was why
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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