she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
