My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
