ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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