oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
