i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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