I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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