Soap is not a condiment
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
