so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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