Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
