weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
