I wish I only lived at night.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
