Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
